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Do you ever find yourself sitting in your absent
child's bedroom ? Does it make you feel closer to your
child? Well if this is the case for you then you maybe suffering
from empty nest syndrome. Empty nest syndrome is a
condition that can affect a woman and has known to affect some men
when their children move out of the house.
Empty nest syndrome is a feeling of sadness and
loss that some adults experience when they find that their
children no longer live with then or need day to day care.
When a child lives at home then gets married that
is a clear signal that the parent is no longer needed in the same
way they were.
Some feelings of sadness or remorse or loss is normal, It is also
normal to maybe have a little cry now and again or even find
your self n your child's room and sitting there for a couple of
minutes in order to feel closer to their child.
Troubling reactions
But if you experience any of the following severe symptoms, you
should seek professional help - especially if they go on for
longer than a week.
* You feel your useful life has ended.
* You are crying excessively.
* You're so sad you don't want to mix with friends or go to work.
In this kind of situation, what seems to happen is that the
child's departure unleashes seriously depressed feelings, and
these very definitely need treating.
If you know that your sadness is overwhelming you, do go and
discuss your feelings with your GP as soon as possible.
You almost certainly could use some counseling to get your
feelings into perspective, and you may need antidepressants.
A time of change
When a woman is at the stage in life where her kids are leaving,
she may also be going through other major changes, such as dealing
with the menopause or trying to cope with increasingly dependent
elderly parents.
It can be a difficult time, and it's no disgrace if you need help
of various kinds to get through it.
If menopausal symptoms are badly affecting you, and they seem
worse because of your kids leaving home, see your GP who should be
able to help.
You might also be interested in the work of the Natural Health
Advisory Service or of the organization called the Amarant Trust,
which is devoted to improving the lot of women who are having
difficulties with the menopause.
Your child's needs versus your needs
When your child leaves home, you'll obviously want to keep in
touch with him or her. But don't try and do this excessively.
Be sensitive to the fact that your son or daughter is trying to
take a big, significant step in life - which isn't actually much
to do with you.
Your offspring will need your support, but will not want to feel
swamped. And the more you cling or show that you're upset, the
less likelihood there is of him or her contacting you.
Ration your calls to no more than two a week. Also, try texting or
using email instead of phoning. You'll be able to put your
feelings succinctly without getting too emotional.
This form of communication will probably suit your child better,
too. It's much easier for a young person to say 'I really miss
you' in a message rather than on the phone, when other students
might be listening.
Remember this is now your time. you must learn to
live now for yourself and find out what a wonderful time this
could be if you will just let go and get on with living.
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